Be a firefighter

14 September 2008 - Filed under Professions

First off firemen look freaking cool… Ever seen Rescue Me?  Those guys are badasses… Their lives are messed up a bit but I still like watching it… you know why?  Because firemen look damn cool. Not only are firemen cool all the ladies always want to be up in their business.  Don’t believe me? Go up to any woman and ask her if she thinks firemen are sexy. Damn right she said yes

Other than being cool and sexy – firemen save lives. Not the pansy ass doctor save lives with meds and surgery but they run into burning buildings and pull people out. That’s just straight badass… Think about it… running into a burning building not knowing if the whole place is going to come down on you.  That’s straight badass… and come to think of it, probably why girls like firemen so much – they have huge balls. Women love brave dudes – and strong dudes.

You have to be mad strong to be a fireman. I once saw a firefighter bring three people out of a building on his back… Three damn people all at the same time.  The place caught on fire and they were like lets just chill here and pass out. Lucky for them some big burly badass fireman came in, scooped them all up and got their passed out asses the hell out of there.

See, it’s hard for me to work out because, well, I don’t need to. If I was a firefighter I’d work out all the time because you never know when you need the strength of a mini-god to do your job. If you wern’t stronger than jesus you’d probably die as a fireman on your first day out.  You’d be all like “Oh hey, that steel beam just fell on my foot, I’m boned.” Just knowing that would make you work out 24/7 – except when you are fighting fires, doing women, and saving lives – probably all at the same time if you’re a badass.

To recap – I should be a fireman because:

1. They look cool
2. The ladies love them
3. They save lives
4. They have huge balls
5. They have the strength of mini-gods

2008-09-14  »  admin