In todays world y eveyone needs a cell phone. You can keep track of all the digets you pick up when youre pimping and you can not have to remember your mother work number … you can just program that in there.

There is an awesome new phone coming out called the HTC Thunderbolt

Yall should check it out.

Peace

Get a Cell Phone is a post from: Why I should...

So you just bought a new futon huh? It looks great. That pad you got is a rad color and your dorm room looks AWE wait for it SOME. Yeah, it does… But you know what? Your butt sweats. Some of you more than others. It sweats all the time and that gets through your pants… and what if you wear shorts?

You’re going to want a Futon Cover for that Futon Mattress. Otherwise in about 4 months your futon is going to smell like a stanky behind. And not in a good way.

A futon cover would also protect your investment from mac-n-cheese spills, wet farts – and when your roommate has sex on it.

To recap:

Why I should use a futon cover

1. Stanky Ass

2 Sex

3. Mac N Cheese

4. Farts

5 Sweat.

Use a Futon Cover is a post from: Why I should...

Your face gets crazy dirty. Just sitting around your face is constantly making oil and dust is hitting it and getting stuck there. And that’s just if you sit around – if you actually do any work other than just reading random things on the internet… Your face is constantly getting more and more dirty.

Your face being dirty leads to pimples, winkles, and just looking like a slob. You aint going to get no chicks (or guys) if you keep looking grimy.

Really the best way to wash your face is to exfoliate and get rid of all those dead skin cells and other crap that is just hanging out there. To do this you need a good product like a NeoStrata Face Wash. This will keep your skin looking good and people will want to touch it… Not only that but you’ll actually like looking in the mirror again when your face doesn’t look like a pepperoni pizza.

To recap: Why I should Wash My Face Every Night

1. So you don’t get pimples
2. So chicks (or guys) will touch your face with their mouth
3. So can look in the mirror without the mirror breaking
4. Because your face is a cesspool of nastiness
5. Because you only like to eat pizza… not look like it

Wash My Face Every Night is a post from: Why I should...

Recently (nearly one year ago) my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It was truly the most amazing experience of my life. When it happened, for three days after, I couldn’t talk about it to anyone without tearing up (probably because I had just spent the prior 5 days not sleeping at all, but I digress).

The past 11 months have been a whirlwind of diaper changes (and diaper rash), 2am feedings, screaming fits (even as I type this now with her in a playpen she keeps getting fussy when she can’t reach something) – But when I look at her, all I feel is joy.

It’s not the “HELL YEAH THE CHIEFS JUST WON THE SUPERBOWL” joy (that was ever only felt at superbowl 4 in 1970… The bastards) but it’s the kind of joy that just makes you smile and your eyes tear up.

Your DNA has made another creature – it’s frickin’ cool. She isn’t talking yet but I’m sure that will be a trip when she starts having thoughts of her own. Half of you came out of my penis and now you’re having a discussion with me about how that person over there is really ugly? Did I take mushrooms – am I reallly high right now? Weird.

The biological imperative has been fulfilled. I could die right now – and it’s fine – I accomplished what life is about – Making sure your DNA lives on. But guess what? I have a reason to live now (other than to see the Chiefs win the Superbowl). It gives you a reason to get up early, to go to the park, to play with kids toys… to do all the fun stuff you wanted to do as a kid but never got a chance to do. I’m not saying live through the child, but when she’s old enough you bet you’re sweet ass we’re going to Disney land and riding the teacups ’till we puke… and then Pantsing Goofy (that Goofy bastard). Sure I’ll tell her not to punch Mall Santa in the crotch… but I will laugh my ass off when she does.

To recap: Why I should have a child

1. Feel pure joy
2. Fulfill your biological imperative
3. Have a reason to live
4. Trip balls
5. Give birth to the future quarterback that will take the Chiefs to a glorious Superbowl win!

Have a child is a post from: Why I should...

So I’m a guy who regularly showers. I like to shower in the morning… shower after a long run… shower with a beautiful woman… But there is something that I have learned about myself as my hair has gotten longer. It starts to get frizzy and as I discovered this is caused by split ends!

As a dude I have always had pretty short hair… hop in the shower, hit it with some shampoo and be done with it… With long hair I need to condition. And that just takes too long for me. Having to be in the shower for more than 15 mins in the morning is too much time for a busy guy like me.

The other day when I was getting my hair cut my stylist told me about a product you put in your hair after a shower… that is oil. Put oil in your hair to make it look better.

Okay, I just took a shower to get the damn oil off my hair… and now you’re telling me to put it back in? No thank you.

The it hit me… just let the natural oils hang out for a couple days. Don’t get me wrong here – Shower and clean yourself – Just don’t hit your hair with shampoo every time. Your hair will thank you for it.

To recap Why I Should: Not wash my hair everyday

1. It takes a lot of time if you have long hair
2. It wastes water by taking a lot of time
3. Shampoo ruins your hair and you need another product to fix it – waste of money
4. Oil is good for your hair
5. Hot chicks like running their fingers through nice hair

Not wash my hair everyday is a post from: Why I should...

Just doo-doo it

It’s happened to us all. We are out somewhere, sitting in class, out with friends and having a good time, taking a stroll in the park with someone special… When all of a sudden you get that urge. That slightly painful sensation that makes your butt cheeks clench and your thighs slightly weak. That’s right, I’m talking about the urge to poop.

Where do you go? There’s a porta-potty down the street, there’s a fast food joint next store… Would you risk going in the school bathroom?

Believe it or not there are people who are deathly afraid of going poop in any public place. If you are one of them, you are not alone. But you should really get the hell over it. There is nothing worse than being in an social situation and having to poop and not being able to. It ruins your entire time at best – and fully embarrass you at worst.

You don’t have to be scared. Don’t be embarrassed – everybody poops. Everybody. From two girls in one cup to even the Pope having to take poops in the woods sometimes. So next time you are in that public place and feel the need to drop a few friends off at the pool – Remember to breath, squat, and let go of your pain. It’s not that bad – and unless you have no immune system nothing in there is going to hurt you.

To recap: Why I should not be afraid to poop in public places

1. Everybody Poops
2. Holding poops too long hurts
3. Your time won’t be ruined because you didn’t poop
4. You won’t soil yourself on accident
5. You won’t die of some random illness you get from a public toilet.

Not be afraid to poop in public places is a post from: Why I should...

Having a pocket knife is probably one of the best things you can do.  First of all it makes you look not only cool when you whip it out – it also makes you look scary. People don’t mess with guys(or girls) why have deadly weapons on them. But that is mostly for your peace of mind – You keep this knife in your pocket and hidden. You know you could kill anyone at any second and it makes you feel like a true badass.  Other than just looking like a badass there are other reasons to have a pocket knife on you.

What would you do in a car crash, for example and you or a loved one is stuck in your seatbelt and HOLY CRAP THE CAR IS ON FIRE. If you said “Probably sit there and die in a fire” then you, my friend, are someone who doesn’t carry a pocket knife.  If you had a knife in your pocket you could have cut your way out and lived.

There are so many reasons that it is helpful if you don’t already carry a pocket knife here are some reaons

1. You can cut seatbelts in a car crash

2. You can open letters and look cool while doing it

3. You can pick your teeth and look menacing

4. You can open boxes – Packaging tape ain’t got shit on you!

5. You are at least 5x better off than a prison inmate and can shiv someone.

If this isn’t enough to convince you – check out this site about Benchmade Griptilian knives (that’s the kind in the photo)

Carry a pocket knife is a post from: Why I should...

“If something is too hard to do, then it’s not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we’ll go inside and watch TV.” – Homer Simpson

More like, why shouldn’t I learn to play the guitar. If there’s one thing to be said about guitar players … nothing seems to impress the ladies more. Or maybe it’s just the ladies I tend to see… No, no, I’m pretty sure all women think guitar players are sexy… Besides, who doesn’t have a guitar sitting around somewhere?

Maybe it has something to do with fantasy more than anything else… Just sitting around watching TV all day get’s old and one thing about the guitar – it’s cheap entertainment. I plan on teaching myself how to play the guitar instead of hiring an instructor. These people can be expensive, and even though IT MIGHT BE worth the money… I think I’ll stick with the internets and the many free lessons I seem to be finding. For example, yesterday I ran across this teach yourself guitar website – and it seems to have some good information.

I think I’m well on my way to something great here. Maybe later, when I can rock all your faces off with my awesome guitar skillz (yeah, that’s skills with a Z because it’s more awesome) I’ll put up an incredibly mind blowing video of me practicing my sick scalez in a future “why I should use youtube more” post

To recap: Why I should teach myself guitar

1. No other instrument looks cooler
2. Because I’ve got one sitting around
3. Gives you something else other than TV watching to do
4. Cheap entertainment
5. Duh, bitches

Teach myself to play guitar is a post from: Why I should...

As it tuns out being well read helps your social life. If you go on many first dates… or any dates… inevitably (if the girl/guy is more intelligent than the table salt in front of you) “What are some of the books you like?” or “read any good books lately?” will be a question that comes up. If you’re not well read (or if you don’t read at all) this question can be pretty embarrassing. Responding to either of these questions with “Well, Charlotte’s Web was the last book I read’ will more than likely turn the conversation off and instantly put you on the defensive.

There are a lot of great books out there… There are the standard ones you read in high school (if you read in high school) like Brave New World, 1984, or any of the classics or the Fantasy books you read as a kid (Dragonlance anyone?) but if you bring these up you’re going to be laughed at.

Not only will you be have a good topic of conversation with new people you will also have a larger vocabulary. That’s right not only will you be able to talk someones ear off by being well read you will be able to do it extravagantly. This is pretty important for job interviews, emails, day to day conversation… hell the more words you know even your TV watching experience will change because you know what everyone is talking about on those crime shows like “Bones” or “CSI Miami.” You’ll feel smrt. I mean smart.

I’m not just talking about major books but even reading more online will help. If you read blogs and newspapers and science articles your knowledge will increase and you’ll have even more to talk about than just stuffy old books. You will have useful knowledge that will make you better at Jeopardy.

To recap: Why I should read more

1. Will make your dates less lame
2. Makes people think you are more intelligent
3. Less likely to be laughed at when people ask about your reading
4. Increased vocabulary
5. More fun to watch “intelligent” TV shows

Read more is a post from: Why I should...

Mmmm Beefy

I just got a puppy. I have had dogs in my family before… but my parents had no time to really train a dog much more than house breaking. This would give us a dog that wouldn’t pee in the house… but would also give us a dog that would chew things, beg at the table, steal food sometimes, ect ect ect.

Now that I have a puppy all my own (a german shepherd) she’s going to be trained and trained well. Not just with the traditional sit/stay but with all the cool other stuff german shepherds can learn. How badass will it be when the dog is getting me a beer and taking my dirty clothes to the basement. It will be damn sweet. Damn sweet.

Not only will it be cool when my dog is helping around the house it will actually make the dog closer to me, and in turn make me closer to understanding animals. People like the dog whisperer and others just know about animals… and because of this can control them – and not just their own. This is a very skill to have if say you find yourself in the jungle and want to live Tarzan style for a while or come across a herd of wild horses while lost 100+ miles from civilization.

To recap: Why I should learn to properly train a dog

1. House wont smell like dog pee/poo
2. Will not bark constantly
3. Will avoid destructo rampages from your dog when left alone
4. Can teach them how to to useful things your woman wont all the time like getting you a damn beer
5. First step in becoming one with the animals

Learn to properly train a dog is a post from: Why I should...