Have a child
18 March 2010 - Filed under Uncategorized
Recently (nearly one year ago) my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It was truly the most amazing experience of my life. When it happened, for three days after, I couldn’t talk about it to anyone without tearing up (probably because I had just spent the prior 5 days not sleeping at all, but I digress).
The past 11 months have been a whirlwind of diaper changes (and diaper rash), 2am feedings, screaming fits (even as I type this now with her in a playpen she keeps getting fussy when she can’t reach something) – But when I look at her, all I feel is joy.
It’s not the “HELL YEAH THE CHIEFS JUST WON THE SUPERBOWL” joy (that was ever only felt at superbowl 4 in 1970… The bastards) but it’s the kind of joy that just makes you smile and your eyes tear up.
Your DNA has made another creature – it’s frickin’ cool. She isn’t talking yet but I’m sure that will be a trip when she starts having thoughts of her own. Half of you came out of my penis and now you’re having a discussion with me about how that person over there is really ugly? Did I take mushrooms – am I reallly high right now? Weird.
The biological imperative has been fulfilled. I could die right now – and it’s fine – I accomplished what life is about – Making sure your DNA lives on. But guess what? I have a reason to live now (other than to see the Chiefs win the Superbowl). It gives you a reason to get up early, to go to the park, to play with kids toys… to do all the fun stuff you wanted to do as a kid but never got a chance to do. I’m not saying live through the child, but when she’s old enough you bet you’re sweet ass we’re going to Disney land and riding the teacups ’till we puke… and then Pantsing Goofy (that Goofy bastard). Sure I’ll tell her not to punch Mall Santa in the crotch… but I will laugh my ass off when she does.
To recap: Why I should have a child
- Feel pure joy
- Fulfill your biological imperative
- Have a reason to live
- Trip balls
- Give birth to the future quarterback that will take the Chiefs to a glorious Superbowl win!
2010-03-18 » admin